Many assisted living referral services are free to families because the communities pay them, typically when a referred family moves in. That shapes which communities you're shown. Use a referral service for leads, then check each community's license and inspection reports yourself, and ask the service how it's paid, by whom, and which local communities it doesn't work with.
Say you fill in one online form late at night, and by morning there are missed calls from a senior living advisor and two communities. That's a referral service at work. It can be genuinely helpful, especially when you're far away or short on time, as long as you know how it's paid and what that means for the list you're given.
This post describes the payment model as the services and state laws describe it, the other kinds of help available, what happens to your contact details, and the questions to ask before you rely on anyone's list.
How are assisted living referral services paid?
Many are paid by the communities they refer families to, not by families. A Place for Mom, for example, describes its own model this way on its website: it is paid by participating communities if a family moves in, its guidance is free to families, and communities set their rates independently and, under their contracts, can't charge referred families more than families who don't use a referral service.
State law recognizes both directions of payment. Washington's Elder and Vulnerable Adult Referral Agency Act covers agencies that receive fees from clients or from providers for referrals. It doesn't limit or set the fees an agency charges a provider, but it requires agencies to disclose their fees and how they are computed.
What this means for you: a service paid by communities has an incentive to refer you to communities it has agreements with. That doesn't make its advice wrong. It means the list you see may not be the full list of licensed communities in your area, so treat it as a starting point.
What types of help exist, and who pays each?
| Type of help | What they do | Who pays | Ask |
|---|---|---|---|
| Online or phone referral service | Suggests communities, may arrange tours | Often the community, when a family moves in | "Which local communities don't you work with?" |
| Local placement agent | Suggests communities in one area; some go on tours with families | Varies; ask | "Do you charge families, communities, or both?" |
| Area Agency on Aging | Information on local services and options | Public program | Find yours via the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116 |
| Hospital discharge planner | Arranges the next setting after a hospital stay | Part of the hospital | "Is this list every option, or the ones you work with most?" |
| Aging Life Care professional | Helps families evaluate and select housing options, among other services | Ask about their fees | "Do you accept any payment from communities?" |
| Long-term care ombudsman | Advocates for residents; provides information about facilities to the public | Free and confidential | "What can you tell me about these communities?" |
Some states also regulate who can place people and where. California's law on placement agencies, which includes private referral agencies and hospital discharge planners, bars them from placing someone in a facility that isn't licensed or exempt from licensing. If your parent is in the hospital, our guide to what a hospital discharge planner does explains how to work with one.
What happens to your contact details?
When you ask a referral service for help, it may share your details with communities, which is why the calls start. Read the privacy policy and the terms before submitting a form, and ask who will receive your information.
Washington's law is a useful benchmark for what to expect: an agency needs the client's authorization before giving the client's name to providers, and the written disclosure statement must tell the client they may switch to another agency without penalty. Even if your state has no such rule, you can ask for the same courtesy.
What to say: "Before you send my information to anyone, please tell me which communities will get it. I'd like to approve each one first. And please note that we prefer email to phone calls."
What should you ask any referral service?
Washington's law lists what a referral agency's disclosure statement must include, which makes a good question list anywhere:
- "How are you paid, by whom, and how is the fee calculated?"
- "Do you or your staff own any part of the communities you recommend?" Washington requires agencies to disclose ownership interests in providers they refer to.
- "Which communities in this area don't you work with?"
- "When did someone from your service last visit each community on my list?" Washington's disclosure statement must include information about how often the agency tours facilities and when.
- "Did you check the state's licensing records for these communities recently?" In Washington, agencies must search the state's website for enforcement actions within 30 days before a referral and disclose the results in writing.
- "Will you share my information, and with whom? Can I stop at any time?"
- "What's your refund policy, and who gets refunds?" Washington requires a prorated refund of the agency's fee in certain cases in the first 30 days, to whoever paid it.
A good service answers these plainly. If it can't tell you how it's paid, that's your answer.
A plan that isn't paid by anyone's commission
Parent Move Plan is not a placement service. It takes no money from communities and never asks for your phone number. It gives you 41 tour questions, a weighted comparison of 12 criteria for up to four communities, and a day-by-day plan for the move, so you can use any list of names and judge them the same way.
Build your plan in 2 minutesWhen does a referral service help most?
When time or distance is the main problem. A service that already knows which local communities have openings, which accept a certain level of care, and which take a pet can save days of phone calls. That's most valuable in a few situations:
- A hospital discharge date is set and you need to know within days which communities have an apartment and can meet your parent's needs.
- You live in another city and don't know the area, the neighborhoods or the drive times.
- Your parent needs something specific, such as memory care, help with two-person transfers, or a community that accepts a particular payment source, and you want a quick shortlist of places that say yes.
It helps least when you already know the area and have time to call around, because the state licensing agency's list and your own phone screen will cover the same ground without sharing your details. Either way, the checks below stay the same.
How do you use a referral service without depending on it?
Use it for what it's good at, speed and local knowledge, and check the rest yourself.
- Take the list, then widen it. Search your state licensing agency's website for licensed communities in the area, and add any good fits that aren't on the service's list.
- Check each community independently. Confirm the license and read recent inspection reports using our guide on how to read an assisted living inspection report.
- Tour with your own questions. An advisor on the tour can be helpful, but ask your questions directly of the community and get answers in writing.
- Read reviews with care. Reviews on sites paid by communities are one input among several; see how to read assisted living reviews.
- Decide on your criteria. The step-by-step method in how to choose assisted living works whatever the source of the names.
If you're organizing everything from another city, a referral service can save real time. Our guide to moving a parent into assisted living from far away covers how to combine that help with your own checks.
Frequently asked questions
Are assisted living referral services really free?
Many are free to families because they are paid by the communities instead. A Place for Mom, for example, says it is paid by participating communities when a family moves in, and that its guidance is free to families. Ask any service directly how it is paid, by whom, and when.
Will a community charge more if we use a referral service?
Ask the service and the community. A Place for Mom states that, under its contracts, communities can't charge referred families more than families who don't use a referral service. Other services may have different terms, so ask each one.
Are referral services regulated?
It depends on the state. Washington, for example, has a law for elder referral agencies that requires a written disclosure statement before a referral, including fees, how they're computed, and any ownership interest in the providers recommended. Ask your state's consumer protection office or licensing agency whether your state has rules.
Is there free, unbiased help choosing assisted living?
Your local Area Agency on Aging, found through the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116), can point you to local resources, and the long-term care ombudsman program provides information to the public about long-term care facilities at no cost. Your state licensing agency's website lists licensed communities and, in many states, inspection reports.
Sources
- A Place for Mom: How Our Service Works (accessed Sept 2026)
- Washington State Legislature: Chapter 18.330 RCW, Elder and Vulnerable Adult Referral Agency Act (accessed Sept 2026)
- Washington State Legislature: RCW 18.330.050, Referrals, disclosure statement (accessed Sept 2026)
- California Legislative Information: Health and Safety Code section 1569.47 (accessed Sept 2026)
- Administration for Community Living: Eldercare Locator (accessed Sept 2026)
- Aging Life Care Association: What you need to know (accessed Sept 2026)
- National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center: About Ombudsmen (accessed Sept 2026)