Track caregiving expenses in one shared log that every sibling can see. For each payment, record the date, who was paid, the amount and the category. Add who paid, which account it came from, whether it was paid back, and a receipt link. Keep your parent's money apart from what family members pay themselves. Add receipts within a few days, then send a one-page summary to the family each month.
Key facts
- AARP says family caregivers pay on average roughly $7,200 a year of their own money. (AARP, 2025)
- The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says a person acting under a parent's power of attorney must keep true and complete records of the parent's money and property. (CFPB, 2022)
- The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says records of a parent's money should show amounts, dates and reasons, and name the people or companies paid. (CFPB, 2022)
- Family Caregiver Alliance tells the sibling who manages a parent's money to keep careful records and send statements to the other siblings. (FCA, 2011)
- IRS Publication 502 has an example of siblings who share a parent's support under a multiple support agreement, which is a written deal between the people who support someone. (IRS, 2025)
In the weeks before a move to assisted living, money leaves in every direction: the community fee, a deposit, movers, a new recliner, three flights, the pharmacy, the storage unit. Some comes from your parent's checking account, some from your credit card, some from your brother's. By move-in day nobody knows who paid what. The sibling who paid the most up front feels unseen.
This post shows how to set up and run a family expense log. Any way of splitting costs depends on that record. Deciding how siblings share costs is covered in how to split caregiving costs between siblings.
Why tracking matters more than it seems
Three reasons:
- Family trust. Family Caregiver Alliance has a fact sheet for siblings. It tells the sibling who manages a parent's money to keep careful records and send statements to the others. Being open reduces distrust. Siblings who aren't in charge should give that sibling their own costs and bills in writing.
- Legal duty. If someone is acting under your parent's power of attorney, they have a legal duty. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) says they must keep true and complete records of the parent's money and property.
- Sheer volume. AARP says family caregivers pay on average roughly $7,200 a year of their own money (2025). Across several siblings and a move, small amounts add up fast.
The columns your log needs
A shared spreadsheet works better than a notebook because everyone sees the same numbers. The CFPB says records should show amounts, dates and reasons. They should also name the people or companies paid. These columns cover that and the family side:
| Column | Example (hypothetical) | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Date | Oct 3 | Matches bank statements |
| Payee | Bayview Movers | Who received the money |
| Amount | $1,180 | Obvious, but always the full amount |
| Category | Move costs | Totals by type |
| What for | Move to Maple Grove, deposit for truck | The reason, in plain words |
| Paid by | Sam | Who made the payment |
| Paid from | Sam's own card / Mom's checking | Keeps your parent's money and family money apart |
| Shared cost? | Yes, split per agreement | Feeds the sibling settle-up |
| Reimbursed? | No / Yes, Nov 1, by whom | Stops double counting |
| Receipt | Link to photo | Proof, one click away |
The two columns that are easiest to skip, "Paid from" and "Reimbursed?", are the ones that prevent arguments later.
One tab or two? If one sibling manages your parent's accounts, think about two tabs in the same file. The first is the agent's ledger. It lists every payment in and out of your parent's accounts, which is the record the CFPB expects an agent to keep. The second is the family tab. It shows what siblings paid from their own pockets and what has been settled between them. With two tabs, you can see at a glance which money is your parent's and which is yours. The agent's records also stay clean if the family split changes.
Categories for a move to assisted living
Keep the list short so nobody has to think. Most moves fit into these:
- Community fees: community or move-in fee, deposit, first month, care level charges
- Medical and pharmacy: prescriptions, equipment, required health forms
- Move costs: movers, boxes and supplies, a senior move manager
- New apartment: furniture, bedding, small appliances, labels
- Old home: utilities, insurance, repairs, lawn care until it's sold or rented
- House clearing: clean-out crew, dumpster, storage unit, donation pickup
- Travel: flights, gas, hotel for family helping with the move
- Professional fees: elder law attorney, tax professional, appraiser
Category totals also show where the money went. The "old home" line is the easiest to forget. More on that in the costs families don't see coming.
A costs log that's already set up
Parent Move Plan includes a shared costs log next to the move's 79 dated tasks. It also has Team and Fair Share tabs and a weekly check-in agenda. It runs in Google Sheets or Excel, so every sibling sees the same numbers.
Get your first 3 days freeA receipt routine people will keep up
- Photograph it at the counter, before the receipt disappears into a pocket.
- Name it the same way every time, for example "2026-10-03 Bayview Movers 1180."
- Drop it in one shared folder. Receipts posted in the family chat get buried.
- Add the row within a few days. The CFPB suggests writing down small costs soon after you spend the money. Note the amount, what it was for, where and when.
- No receipt? Add a note row anyway: amount, what, where, when, and "no receipt."
Keep your parent's important money papers apart from the day-to-day receipts. The National Institute on Aging's checklist suggests keeping key money, legal and health papers together in one place that people know about.
Extra rules if you manage your parent's money
If you act under your parent's power of attorney, the CFPB's guide for agents lists habits that make records easy to trust:
- Pay your parent's expenses from your parent's funds, not yours.
- Never deposit your parent's money into your own account, and avoid joint accounts. Get legal advice before changing an existing one.
- Avoid paying in cash or withdrawing cash with your parent's card. If you must, keep receipts or notes.
- If you use your own money and repay yourself, keep receipts and a record of why, what and when.
- If you're paid as agent (only if the document or state law allows it), keep careful records of the work, the time it took and when you did it.
If your family is still deciding who should take that role, see which sibling should be power of attorney. For paying bills from another state, see managing a parent's bills from far away.
The monthly summary
Once a month, one person spends about 20 minutes on three things:
- Check the log against bank and card statements. Every payment from your parent's accounts should have a row.
- Send a one-page summary to the family: what your parent's money paid for, by category, and what each family member paid. Add anything unusual and what's coming next month.
- Settle up between siblings according to your cost agreement, and mark those rows reimbursed.
The CFPB notes that sharing summaries with family can stop suspicion from building over time. Skip this only if your parent has said not to.
When you first send the sheet around, you could put it like this:
"I've set up one sheet for everything we spend on Mom's move. Could everyone add a row and a receipt photo within a few days of paying for something? On the first of each month I'll send a short summary, and we'll even out anything we're sharing. Nobody's checking up on anyone. I'd rather none of us had to keep score in our heads."
Records and tax questions
Good records keep your tax options open, but they don't answer tax questions. IRS Publication 502 explains when medical costs paid for someone else can be included. It has an example of siblings who share a parent's support under a multiple support agreement. That is a written deal between the people who support someone. In the example, who paid and who was paid back changes who can include the costs. That's why the "Paid by" and "Reimbursed?" columns matter.
Take the log to a tax professional and let them decide what counts. For background, see is assisted living tax deductible? The moving checklist sets a budget range with whoever handles your parent's money in the first week. That's a good time to start the log.
This article is general information about record keeping and isn't tax, legal or financial advice. Ask a tax professional or elder law attorney about your family's situation.
Frequently asked questions
What is the best way to track caregiving expenses?
Use one shared spreadsheet that everyone involved can see, with a row for every payment: date, payee, amount, category, who paid, which account it came from, whether it was reimbursed, and a link to the receipt. Add receipts within a few days and review the log once a month.
Should I keep receipts for my parent's care expenses?
Yes, including small ones. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau tells agents under a power of attorney to keep receipts and notes even for small expenses. Receipts also help siblings settle up and give a tax professional what they need if any expenses turn out to be relevant.
Can I pay my parent's bills from my own account and pay myself back?
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau advises agents to pay a parent's expenses from the parent's own funds, because paying yourself back makes records harder to keep. If you do use your own money, it says to keep receipts and a record of why, what and when you repaid yourself.
Are caregiving expenses tax deductible?
Some medical expenses paid for a parent may be, depending on the parent's dependency status, who paid and whether they were reimbursed. IRS Publication 502 explains the rules. Ask a tax professional before assuming anything is deductible.
Sources
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: Help for agents under a power of attorney (accessed Sept 2026)
- AARP: New report reveals crisis point for America's 63 million family caregivers (accessed Sept 2026)
- Family Caregiver Alliance: Caregiving with Your Siblings (accessed Sept 2026)
- IRS: Publication 502, Medical and Dental Expenses (accessed Sept 2026)
- National Institute on Aging: Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist (accessed Sept 2026)