Yes, two siblings can both have power of attorney if your parent names both of them as co-agents in the document. The document or state law then says whether each can act alone or both must decide together. The American Bar Association warns that co-agents may disagree or may not be around when needed. Which sibling to name is your parent's choice, and the ABA says trust matters most. Your parent's elder law attorney can explain the rules in your state.
Key facts
- A parent can name two or more co-agents in a power of attorney, and the American Bar Association suggests the document say whether a majority of them can act. (American Bar Association, n.d.)
- The CFPB's guide for agents says an agent under a power of attorney is a fiduciary with four basic duties: act only in the person's best interest, manage their money and property carefully, keep it separate from the agent's own, and keep good records. (CFPB, 2022)
- A successor agent has no authority while the first agent is still willing and able to act. (CFPB, 2022)
- An agent under a power of attorney usually can't manage Social Security or VA benefits without a separate appointment from that agency, such as a representative payee. (CFPB, 2022)
Mom is about to move into assisted living, and someone will need to sign the residency agreement, talk to the bank and pay the monthly bill if she can't. Your brother assumes it's him because he's the oldest. Your sister lives five minutes away. You're the one who's good with spreadsheets. And nobody has asked Mom yet.
This post helps your family think about who should act for your parent. It covers the choice, the job and the options. It also covers how to keep trust among siblings later. For the documents families usually review before a move, see power of attorney before an assisted living move.
It's your parent's choice
A power of attorney is a document in which your parent names one or more people to act for them. The American Bar Association explains that it can be limited or general. It can take effect right away, or only if your parent can no longer act (a "springing" power). Your parent can also cancel it. Rules differ from state to state.
Your parent picks the agent while they are still able to decide. Without one, the ABA notes, a court may have to name a guardian or conservator if your parent can no longer manage their affairs. Your parent may not get to choose who that is. That's the best reason to talk before a crisis.
A financial power of attorney and a health care power of attorney are two separate papers. The National Institute on Aging says the second one names a health care proxy. That person makes medical choices if your parent can't. Your parent can name different children for each.
This article is general information and isn't legal advice. Your parent's own attorney should draft and explain any power of attorney. If you need one, see when to hire an elder law attorney.
What the job involves
Being the agent is real work, and it comes with legal duties. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) has a guide for agents. It says an agent is a fiduciary, someone trusted to handle money for another person, with four basic duties:
- Act only in your parent's best interest.
- Manage your parent's money and property carefully.
- Keep your parent's money and property separate from your own.
- Keep good records.
The guide adds some practical rules. The agent must follow the document and state law. They should include the parent in decisions as much as they can. They sign as agent, never in the parent's name. They avoid paying in cash and keep receipts, even for small amounts. An agent usually can't manage Social Security or VA benefits without a separate appointment from that agency, such as a representative payee. The guide also warns that an agent who fails these duties could be removed, sued or made to pay money back.
During an assisted living move, the agent often handles the residency agreement, deposits and monthly payments. They also close or move the bills at the old house. That's a lot of steady, detailed work.
How to compare siblings
The ABA says the best choice is someone the parent trusts. Honesty often matters more than money skills. The questions below can help a family think it through. Use them to talk it over with your parent. Don't turn them into a score that decides for them.
| Question | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Who does Mom or Dad trust most with money? | Trust is the ABA's first test |
| Who keeps records without being reminded? | The CFPB expects detailed records and receipts |
| Who has time to keep this up for years? | The role lasts as long as the document does |
| Who will include the parent in decisions? | The CFPB says to involve the parent as much as possible |
| Who can share information calmly with the other siblings? | Openness reduces distrust, according to FCA and the CFPB |
| Does anyone have a conflict of interest, such as money owed to or from the parent? | The agent must act only in the parent's interest |
| Who can easily deal with your parent's bank and other offices? | The ABA notes agents often must present the document itself to banks, brokers or title companies |
Birth order isn't on the list. Neither is who "deserves" it.
One agent, co-agents or a successor?
Families often think naming two siblings together is the fairest choice. Look at the trade-offs first.
- One agent plus a successor. One person acts, and a named backup steps in only if the first can't. The CFPB guide says the backup has no power while the first agent is willing and able to act. The ABA recommends always naming one or more successors.
- Co-agents. Two or more people act together. The ABA warns that they may not all be around when needed, or may not agree. It suggests the document say whether a majority can act. The CFPB adds that co-agents must work together and share what they know. Each one is still responsible for the parent's interests.
- Different agents for different jobs. For example, one sibling as health care proxy and another as financial agent. This spreads the load and plays to each person's strengths. But the two will need to talk often during a move, because care choices and costs are linked.
Which setup fits your family is a question for your parent and their attorney.
Keeping trust between siblings afterwards
Most power of attorney fights between siblings start with missing information. Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) has a fact sheet for siblings. It tells agents to keep careful records and send siblings statements of how the parent's money is spent. Being open, it notes, reduces distrust. It tells the siblings who weren't chosen to accept the parent's choice and try not to take it personally.
The CFPB suggests sharing records or summaries with family, unless the parent has said not to. A simple monthly routine works:
- A one-page summary: money in, money out by category, anything unusual.
- Receipts in one shared folder.
- Big choices (selling the house, changing the care level) talked through before anyone decides.
The record-keeping side is covered in how to track caregiving expenses as a family. If trust has already broken down, see sibling conflict over a parent's care. Stepfamilies face extra questions about who decides, covered in stepfamilies and a parent's move.
Tools for sharing the records
Families often look for special software here. A shared folder with clear access levels covers most of it. In Google Drive, for example, the owner of a file gives each person one of three roles. A Viewer can read. A Commenter can read and leave comments. An Editor can change the file and, unless the owner turns it off, share it further. A setup that works for many families:
- The agent, or each co-agent, is an Editor of the records folder: statements, receipts, the residency agreement.
- The other siblings are Viewers or Commenters. They see every entry, but they can't change it.
- The owner turns off sharing by editors, so the folder only reaches the people your parent would want.
Keep your parent's passwords out of the shared folder. And remember what the tool can't do: it doesn't decide who may act. That comes from the power of attorney itself, including whether co-agents act alone or together.
Make the paper trail easy for whoever is agent
Parent Move Plan puts the documents, deposits and account changes of a move on real dates, counted back from move-in day. The plan also has a shared costs log and a weekly check-in agenda. The agent's updates to siblings become routine, and that leaves less room for suspicion.
Get your first 3 days freeHow to raise it with your parent
Keep the conversation focused on what your parent wants. Give them the questions above, then step back. If your parent wants to talk it through with their attorney alone, make that easy. FCA notes families can find a lawyer through the local Area Agency on Aging or a state senior legal hotline. An attorney who focuses on elder law is another option.
You might open it like this:
"Dad, with the move coming up, someone may need to sign things or pay bills for you someday. It's your choice who that is, and whoever you pick, the rest of us will support it. Would you like to talk it over with a lawyer? We can also ask about naming a backup person."
Start by checking whether your parent already has a power of attorney. The NIA's checklist suggests keeping legal papers in one place and telling someone you trust where they are. The moving checklist puts the money talk, and any elder law appointment, in the first week of a move.
Frequently asked questions
Does the oldest child have to be power of attorney?
No. A power of attorney names whoever the parent chooses. The American Bar Association says there are no special qualifications beyond being an adult who isn't incapacitated, and calls trust the most important factor, with integrity often mattering more than financial skill.
Do all siblings have to agree on who is power of attorney?
No. Naming an agent is your parent's decision while they can still make it, so brothers and sisters don't have to agree or sign. If your parent names two or more siblings as co-agents, the document or state law says whether each can act alone or they must decide together.
Can two siblings be power of attorney together?
Yes. A parent can name two or more co-agents, so two or three siblings can share the role. The document or state law should say whether they can act alone or must agree. The American Bar Association cautions that co-agents may not all be available or may disagree, so the document should say what happens then.
What is a successor agent on a power of attorney?
A successor agent is the backup who can act if the first agent can't or won't. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, a successor agent has no authority while the first agent is still willing and able to act. The American Bar Association recommends naming one or more.
Are there tools that help siblings who share power of attorney?
A shared folder with access levels covers most of it. In Google Drive, for example, the agent can be an Editor of the records while the other siblings are Viewers or Commenters, who see every entry but can't change it. The authority itself still comes from the power of attorney document, not from the tool.
Can the other siblings see what the power of attorney is doing with our parent's money?
It depends on the document and state law. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau suggests agents consider sharing records or summaries with family unless the parent has said not to, because openness heads off suspicion. An elder law attorney can explain what your parent's document allows.
Sources
- American Bar Association: Power of Attorney (accessed Sept 2026)
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: Help for agents under a power of attorney (accessed Sept 2026)
- National Institute on Aging: Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist (accessed Sept 2026)
- Family Caregiver Alliance: Caregiving with Your Siblings (accessed Sept 2026)
- Family Caregiver Alliance: What should I do to help get my family member's legal and financial affairs in order? (accessed Sept 2026)
- Google Drive Help: Share files from Google Drive (accessed Oct 2026)