How to downsize a parent's home for assisted living
Your parent is moving from a house full of memories to one assisted living apartment. You can get there without losing weekends to arguments or to boxes that don't fit. Start with the apartment, not the house.
- Measure first: get the apartment floor plan and measure the furniture your parent wants.
- Comfort items first: choose the chair, the lamp, their bedding and photos with your parent.
- Family claims with a deadline: everyone writes down what they'd like. After the date, unclaimed items are sold or donated.
- Sort room by room, starting with rooms your parent uses least. Leave bedroom and kitchen for last.
- Sell, donate and clear out: book pickups early, get three quotes for any service and keep a simple log.
- Short on time? Move what the apartment needs first. The rest of the house can wait until after the move.
1. Start with the new apartment
Ask the community for the floor plan with measurements. Ask what it already provides, such as a bed, curtains or a small fridge. Then measure the width, depth and height of the furniture your parent would like to bring. Draw it on the floor plan before anything is moved or given away. Keep a clear path from the bed to the bathroom and to the door. ADA guidelines use 36 inches for accessible routes, which also leaves room for a walker.
2. Decide the comfort items with your parent
Walk through the house together and choose what makes a room feel like theirs. That might be the chair they read in, the lamp, their own bedding, the clock, framed photos or a blanket. Put these on the floor plan first, and fit everything else around them. Take a photo of how their bedroom is set up now so you can set it up the same way.
3. Run a family claims list with a deadline
Keep one shared list with the item, the room and who would like it, and set a date. When two people want the same thing, agree on a method before it turns into a fight. You can take turns choosing or draw lots. Or one person keeps it and the other gets first pick next time. After the deadline, unclaimed items are sold or donated. Heirlooms or items worth real money may need a talk with whoever holds legal authority, and maybe an attorney.
4. Sort room by room, in the right order
| Order | Rooms | Why |
|---|---|---|
| First | Garage, basement, attic, guest room, shed | Least used, so sorting here doesn't disrupt your parent's day |
| Middle | Living room, dining room, office | Pick what goes to the apartment, then claims, then sale or donation |
| Last | Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom | Your parent still lives there. Keep a small set of dishes and the favorite mug |
Use the same four labels in every room: goes to the apartment, family, sell and donate. Add recycling and trash. Taking photos of things that are hard to part with often makes it easier to let them go.
A floor plan, a furniture fit list and five house clearing tabs
Parent Move Plan Complete has a floor plan grid (one square is six inches), a furniture fit calculator and tabs for room by room, family claims, sell and donate, vendor quotes and closing up the old home. It all sits inside a 60-day plan with real dates.
Get your first 3 days free5. Sell, donate and clear
- Book donation pickups early. Charities often schedule furniture pickups weeks ahead.
- Sell only what's worth the effort, such as larger furniture, collectibles and tools. Write honest listings with measurements.
- Get three quotes for any service, such as a senior move manager, an estate sale company, junk removal or cleaning. Compare what's included (sale, donation runs, hauling, broom clean), the timing and the insurance.
- Keep a log of what left, where it went, and any money or donation receipts.
- Take leftover medications to a pharmacy take-back. Don't throw them in the trash.
6. When time is short
Maybe a room opened up, or a hospital stay forced the pace. Then don't try to empty the house before the move. Move the comfort items and the furniture that fits, and set up the apartment. Give the rest of the house two to four weekends after your parent has settled. Keep the heat and water on while you clear it. Whether to sell, rent or keep the house for now is a legal and financial choice. Talk to a real estate professional, an attorney or a tax advisor.
For the fast version, see how to move a parent into assisted living in 30 days.
Questions
How do you decide what a parent takes to assisted living?
Start from the apartment. Get the floor plan with measurements. Then choose the comfort items first, such as the favorite chair, the reading lamp, their own bedding and photos. Add practical furniture only if it fits and leaves a clear walking path.
How long does it take to clear out a parent's house?
It depends on the size of the house and how many people help. A lived-in family home usually takes several weekends. If time is short, move only what the apartment needs first and clear the rest of the house after the move.
How do siblings divide a parent's belongings fairly?
Use a written claims list with a deadline. Everyone lists what they would like. When two people want the same item, you can take turns choosing or draw lots. Or one person keeps it and the other gets first pick next time. Items with legal or financial weight may need the person with legal authority or an attorney.
Should we hire a senior move manager or an estate sale company?
A senior move manager helps with planning, sorting and setting up the new apartment. An estate sale company sells what stays behind. Get three quotes for each. Compare exactly what each one includes as well as the price.
Sources and further help
- U.S. Access Board, ADA Standards 403.5.1 (clear width of walking surfaces, 36 inches): access-board.gov/ada
- National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers: nasmm.org
- U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, drug disposal and take-back locations: dea.gov/takebackday
This guide is general information for organizing a move. It is not legal, financial or medical advice.